World domination is not easy. Alexander and Caesar had their armies. Genghis Kahn, definitely a man after my own heart, led hordes of bloodthirsty barbarians on a rampage of terror through the civilized world. I have only my modest plastic Frisbee, but that's enough.

And, making an occasional example of a disbeliever.

When you're the top dog, people know you. They tell stories about you. My six under par at the Arvada, Colorado course is a record that will stand for a millenium. My Arizona fans speak in hushed tones of my two-stroke crossing of the Grand Canyon. The entire eastern seaboard is still gibbering about my roller from Central Park to Brooklyn, across the Brooklyn Bridge. And, of course, perhaps the feat for which I am best known, my putt to the top of the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul -- the only part of my legendary 1999 Eclipse Trip to Turkey I neglected to record on video.

Yet, legend alone is not enough to keep one in power. Terror is.

That's why I'm in Colorado -- the rabble needs a lesson.